Thursday, January 17, 2008

Giggle Spam

While browsing through my junk mail this morning, I came across this gem:

Subject:"Guys with small dic'ks are pathetic!"

Ok, so what in the world would entice a person to click on this? Either you have a normal sized penis, and perhaps you snigger and agree while hitting delete, or you have a small penis, and you feel terrible. Your whole precarious sense of self-worth comes crashing down thanks to an email subject line. And your response? Click on it?!

Maybe our under-endowed friend is angry as he reads the subject. So he opens it, determined to respond with a scathing defense of the coolness of guys with small penises. And he finds this in the body of the email:

"Isn't it degrading, when they call your pen!s a "baby carrot"?
Don't let them laugh at you anymore! Use VPXL to get so needed extra inches for your stick!

Give it a try and teach them all a more appropriate definition of your new huge male meat!"

A baby carrot?! That's so cute! Ehh... What's up, doc?

"Your stick?" Are we in second grade? Because our vocabulary makes it seem like we are. Your "male meat?" I assume the female equivalent would be female meat, although I have no idea what that would mean. And this email gave me a whole new appreciation of the term "meat market." Now I know where the meat market fellows shop-- in their span folders. It's the meat market market. Poor guys think of themselves as meat, and measly meat at that. What is our society coming to?

1 comment:

Trevor said...

If the meat market market had a place to shop, I would shop there as well. Anything that meta would have to be accompanied by good deals. Perhaps even on baby carrots. And between Hollywood's baby craze, and the perennial penis uber craze, baby carrots are this year's must have.

Fun read. And, you saved me a click.